Long ago there lived a farmer who had learned to live each day as it came. One day, the farmer’s only horse ran away.
Live each day as it comes
April 12th, 2010 by Heidi
Pretty dam brilliant
April 9th, 2010 by HeidiI got this one by email yesterday and just had to share ….
This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania . This guy’s response is hilarious, but read The State’s letter before you get to the response letter.
Unmistakable Wisdom
March 26th, 2010 by HeidiDON’T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to switch tracks, simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
Simple yet brilliant!
March 22nd, 2010 by HeidiCourtroom Testimony
March 19th, 2010 by HeidiThese are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
Blonde jokes
March 12th, 2010 by HeidiQ: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Poisonous Snakes
March 5th, 2010 by HeidiTwo snakes in the grass, one called Oscar, one called George. Oscar turns around to George and says “George, are we by any chance poisonous?”, George looks back and replies with “Yeah deadly, why?” and Oscar replies with:
“ahh sh!t, i just bit my lip”.
Scotish tourist
February 26th, 2010 by HeidiA Scotsman was visiting a museum of natural history in Canada when he came upon a huge stuffed bull moose with enormous antlers.
Surprised, he exclaimed in his Scottish burr, “Woots that!?”
When told by the curator that is was a moose, he replied, “If that’s a moose, I’d hate to see your caats!”
What’s Your Animal?
February 22nd, 2010 by HeidiLolli at Better in Bulk wrote a really entertaining post the other day – What’s Your Animal? – looking at the Chinese Horoscope profiles.
I already knew I was a dragon, which I have always thought was pretty cool as I love dragons. But I hadn’t looked up what this was supposed to mean …
New employee
February 19th, 2010 by HeidiThere is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.